I've Never Forgotten
by Grace4Star
Summary: It had been four dreadful years since Tessa Gray had fled the London Institute with her and Will's son, James Herondale, escaping to Magnus's new home in New York. But when they receive word that the Shadowhunters of the London Institute are facing a great, terrible danger, Tessa's life is changed forever.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It had been four dreadful years since Tessa Gray had fled the London Institute, had fled everything she had ever known in London. Tessa was now twenty years old, and living in despair at her friend (if you do say so) Magnus Bane's house in New York.

Magnus Bane was a warlock who knew the Shadowhunters' of the London Institute distantly well, and had discovered Tessa with them. He had helped William Herondale discover that the curse that was put on him at a young age; _All who love you shall die, _was in fact, fake. Not a curse at all. He'd helped both Will and Tessa encounter De Quincey at that horrific event in which she saw her brother, and had done many other helpful things to them that would be next to impossible to repay.

And the night that he had told Will that the curse was not real, he had stopped for only a moment at the Institute to say that he was travelling away from London, and may very well be never coming back. He moved to the city of New York in the United States of America, for a new life, a better place. And because he was immortal, what was there to lose?

Then, there had been the day after that when Jem had proposed to Tessa. She still remembered every word he said that morning. _'You speak of sacrifice, but it is not my sacrifice I offer. It is yours I ask of you. I can offer you my life, but it is a short life; I can offer you my heart, though I have no idea how many more beats it shall sustain.' _And she still, after all these years, had the jade pendant he had given her – his mother's. She had never taken it off from the place is sat around her neck. And not long after that, Will had taken her into the drawing room, and told her his feelings for her; how it has been that way all along, _how he _loved _her_, how he had built a wall around himself for the past five years, so no harm could be done to others around him. And then, that it was all for nothing.

But yet, but yet, she had not said three simple words 'I love you,' back. Instead, she did the hardest thing she had ever mastered in her life, did the thing that seemed to tear her soul into a million pieces and never put it back together again. She had sent Will away. The damaged boy, who looked as if he could never be put back together again.

And then, it was all too much for her.

How could you love two people at once and _still _be happy? It seemed impossible. She didn't know, and that was the reason why she put everything that had happened in the past few weeks behind her, and left the Institute. Left Will. And Jem.

That wasn't the only reason she left, though. Tessa knew that Jem would reach his tragic death soon, from the cause of the horrible yin fen. She – none of the shadowhunters knew when, but they all (even Jem) could sense it coming, although they dared not to speak of it. And of course, Tessa couldn't bear that to happen, and so she had packed her things, and left the Institute for good. Off to New York, where she knew Magnus was.

She never said a word to any of them again.

Because she wouldn't dare too. It would only make things worse for her, and for everyone else. They would make her stay, and _oh god, _she wouldn't even be able to bear to think of the look on Jem and Will's face. Even though she knew that her disappearance would tear both boys apart, she knew that it was for the best.

And maybe, someday, she would see them again.

When Tessa had reached New York, she had found out information as to where Magnus was living. She arrived there; a complete and utter mess. She spilled out everything to Magnus, while continuously sobbing into a cushion. He promised that she could stay with him, and every single night since then had she been yelling out from nightmares that seemed to tear herself apart, Magnus comforting her.

Only two days before Tessa had left, she began to vomit regularly in the mornings, and develop intense cravings for food. Of course, she never told anybody of this, and soon snuck out in the middle of the night to go to the Silent City. There, she discovered, that she was pregnant.

Of course, nobody had ever known what had happened that night but her and Will. Tessa had never had sex with any living soul – except Will. It was a cold, rainy night (as per usual in London), and the storm crashing in the background, when Tessa woke from a nightmare, screaming. But she had soon calmed down as Will was right next to her in an instant, sitting on the bed. He began to comfort her, and even though this was after _that _night on the roof, she had felt a sudden desire to just kiss him. Taste him. Get everything of him. She _wanted _him, wanted to feel every part of him, and so did he. And of course, they had completely forgotten about protection, and it just happened.

Tessa didn't know what to think. As soon as she found out that there was a small soul living inside her stomach, the brothers' said that she would need help, but had sworn not to tell anybody, as it was her request. And of course, she had never told Will. She didn't even know what he would think of her when that happened. He would probably be angry. And Jem. Oh, Jem. Nobody knew but her.

Tessa had done well to stay out of the Shadowhunter's way for the past four years. But she didn't know that soon, all of that was going to change.

A small, childish voice broke her from her thoughts.

"Mommy?" her son, James Herondale asked.

She silently sighed. Maybe, if it weren't for James, Tessa would be dead. Even though her life had been lived in misery for the past four years, James was always there to make her smile. He was the reason she was still alive, and he was the reason that she knew she had to get through this, and be strong, until the day would come when she would eventually forget the Charlotte, Henry, Jem, Will, Sophie, Jessamine, and the others.

She had thought that that day would come sooner. But yet, still after four years she had never forgot them less than she had the day before. Will had probably forgotten her, though. And Jem. Probably Charlotte and the rest, too. Jem and Will had most likely moved on, and maybe were married to other girls.

The thought put a piercing, sharp pain through her heart. She knew it was selfish to think that way, but she still loved both boys. And she would never stop loving them as equally as she had always.

"Yes, darling?" Tessa replied, looking down at her son and offering a small smile.

"Who's my daddy?"

She immediately gasped, a shock going through her that it was almost painful. She was startled, as James had never asked this before, or any other question like it. Tessa had come to think that he would never ask such a question.

She was lost for words. He was not ready to hear the truth yet.

"He was – is, a very good man. Perhaps – perhaps, you will s-see him someday," she managed to stutter out, though she doubted they would ever see him again.

James resembled Will, mostly. He had Will's long eyelashes, his deep blue eyes like glass, and his curly dark hair. The only thing he really had from Tessa, was the height. Tessa was tall, and so was James.

"Okay," said James, cheerfully, and he seemed to leave it at that, for he ran off to go play with his toys like little kids did.

Magnus was out, as he said he had to 'run an errand'. Tessa didn't exactly appear to know what he meant, but she just went along with it. He had said that he would be home within an hour, and –

Magnus burst through the door of his apartment as fast as lightning, causing the side table to almost clatter to the ground. His cat-like eyes were wild (she had always found his eyes particularly interesting, and a bit creepy at the same time), his hair wild. He appeared to be gasping for breath. Tessa and James both looked up.

"Magnus?" Tessa asked, curiously. "Magnus, what on earth is the matter?"

"I have just received a message from a dear friend of mine," he said. "The Shadowhunters' of the London Institute are facing a great danger."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Hey guys! I realise I didn't do a A/N on my first chapter but it's probably gonna be too difficult to edit. I hope you liked it, and that it's not too rough, because I personally found that chapter a bit cheesy hehe! Oh, and for those of you wondering, this is going to be a Wessa fanfic!**

**Anyway, hope you guys like this chapter. Pleaseeee review! It will mean the world to me.**

**Oh and, I couldn't work out how to upload a story on , but I finally worked it out yesterday night so I uploaded it and I had already written Chapter 2, that's why this is uploaded so quick. Yep. Enjoy!**

Tessa looked startled. "You mean…"

Magnus seemed to already know the answer to what she was about to ask. "Yes," he sighed. "The London Institute. Officially. The one you once lived at."

"But…" Tessa started. "What on earth do we do?"

"You think I am supposed to know the answer to that question? I do not even know what is happening, as I have not been there myself. Frankly, I do not know if your old… friends are there."

Tessa seemed to get the hint Magnus was pointing at her. "No. You do not mean… Magnus!" she screeched. "There is no way I am ever going back to that place. I left four years ago, and I left for good. I cannot bear to see Will or Jem… if they are even still there."

"Just think about how you would feel if either of them ended up dead. Or if any of your other friends did. Tessa, Mortmain has not found you for four years. It will be a great surprise for you to be there, and I do not know what will happen after that. Tessa, you could change things."

"What about James?" Tessa protested, and glanced toward her son, who was looking up toward the two with curious eyes, although he did not seem to be knowing what was going on.

"He can stay here. With me."

"No," Tessa immediately shook her head. "No. I am not letting my son out of my sight, for I do not know what will happen when I arrive there. And you should come."

"I suppose I will have to. I know that Charlotte will be expecting me," Magnus said.

Tessa sighed, and knew that she had lost. She hesitantly nodded, and walked over to her son.

"James, we have a long journey ahead of us. We are going to London." She tried to keep the quiver out of her voice.

"Yay!" James exclaimed. They both looked towards Magnus. He appeared to be in deep concentration. Then suddenly, with a flash, a great big circle had appeared. It was blue, and looked like shimmering water. Tessa suspected it was some sort of magic of Magnus's.

"A Portal," Magnus said, to answer Tessa's unspoken question. "It will transport us to the London Institute. Don't ask questions. I'll go first."

Tessa closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. This was it. She was going back to what she swore she would escape from forever. She might see Jem or Will. Her insiders were frozen with fear as she gripped the younger boy's hand. She opened her eyes, and just saw Magnus step through the Portal.

"Ready?" Tessa asked James. James nodded. Tessa thought that he was a bit frightened and excited at the same time, although for the first time in her life she could not make out James's emotions. "On the count of three. One, two… three." And with that last word, they stepped into the Portal, finding themselves surrounded in darkness.

At first Tessa was not aware of her surroundings, except that she was holding her son's hand as if she let go, it would end her life. Then everything seemed to happen at once; she realized that she was on the steps of the London Institute, the place she hadn't seen for four years.

As she looked out, she almost screamed, if it weren't for Magnus covering her mouth. The sight she saw in front of her was horrific; there was Shadowhunters everywhere, wearing black gear, handling different types of weapons in their hands and slashing out at the 'things' that once almost killed her. Automans. They were everywhere, surrounding her and the other Shadowhunters, they were even inside the Institute as the doors were left wide open by a major rush of panic.

Tessa looked down at her son and knew that he should not be seeing such a grotesque sight. She knew that it was not safe for him here, and yet she had been selfish for wanting her to stay with her as she thought that was the best type of protection he could receive. But perhaps that was not the wisest decision. James looked terribly frightened as his eyes darted back and forth between the scene. Tessa had to admit that it looked pretty dreadful; there was fresh and dried blood scattered on gear and scattered across the pavement.

Tessa covered James's eyes with her soft hand, and abruptly scanned the crowd. She knew exactly what – more like who – she was looking for. They were two boys.

Her eyes darted back and forth between the Shadowhunters. She could faintly make out Charlotte helping Sophie slash an automan in half – _Wait,_ she thought. _Wasn't Sophie supposed to be a maid? _Henry was fending off an automan, slashing with his blade fiercly, nearby, Bridget was defending Jessamine from an automan behind her, while Jessamine was already occupied with one in front of her. Tessa was glad – no not glad – overjoyed, to see her friends alive or well. In the distance she thought she caught a glimpse of curly dark black hair, but she was not quite sure. But the two boys – the two boys she had missed so much and was terrified to suddenly see now – there was no sight of either of them. She began to feel a jolt of emotions at once; terror, for she did not know if they were injured or worse – dead; relief, as she did not have to face the two people she loved most beside her son, and sadness, for she could not deny that she missed them deeply even though she supposed that it was foolish of her.

There were a lot more Shadowhunters gathered inbetween each other, fighting the deadly mechanical creatures, whom she did not know the name of, and she could see a couple of the Silent Brothers too. She thought it strange, as Silent Brothers seemed creepy to her, that they would be fighting alongside Shadowhunters. Until now, she did not even consider that they would fight.

"Magnus," she breathed, her eyes wide.

"Tessa. You stay here. You need too. This is not good for James to see, for he has no history with magic at all."

"But –"

Tessa was suddenly cut off when she heard a man's laughter in the distance. It wasn't the average laugh from happiness and joy, but instead it was a bitter laugh. Bitter and horrible and deadly. The laugh was oddly familiar.

It was Mortmain.

He was standing near a black carriage that Tessa had only just noticed parked on the path in front of the Institute. There were two horses waiting patiently there, but Tessa knew that they were not just ordinary horses. They were his mechanical creatures, the ones that had killed many Shadowhunters before. Everybody froze – even the automans, who would do anything to taste blood right now, but they froze just as well as Charlotte did.

That was when she saw him. She couldn't see those deep, blue, understanding eyes – the ones she had fell for – but instead she saw his curly black hair. Most people would think it was just somebody, but to Tessa it was somebody she loved and had not seen for four years. It was the boy she fell in love with the moment she hit him over the head with the jug. She would have known him anywhere.

Will.

"It has been four years. Four years since I have been looking for this filthy girl!" Mortmain yelled with pure rage.

"What? You mean Tessa?" Charlotte asked.

"Of course I mean Tessa, you disgraceful Nephilm. I have had countless people spy, countless attacks on this very Institute, countless searching for miles and miles, and yet we have not found her. Can someone kindly tell me as to how you have been hiding her?"

Will looked astonished. "Tessa is not even here! We have not seen her for over four years! What are you talking about?"

Tessa was still staring intently at Will, still aware of Magnus's presence beside her, stiffened. She was still aware of the little boy who was clutching her hand for dear life.

"Do not dare to play tricks on me, little Herondale boy. There she is. Right there." Mortmain pointed at Tessa.

And suddenly, everything seemed to happen in a blur. Every single face turned and stared at her and James; some with horror, some with surprise. She heard Charlotte gasp, heard Sophie gulp for breath, heard Jessamine draw in a breath, but none of that mattered, because all she was doing was staring at those dark blue eyes she had longed for for so long. He looked back at her, and even Will – Will, who was the best person Tessa had ever met at hiding his emotions – could not hide the expression on his face, horror, pity, amazement and _anger. But why anger? _she thought. But that didn't seem to matter. None of it did. All that mattered was the boy she had always loved standing 10 ft in front of her.

**I don't even… okay, sorry if you feel that the last paragraph is meh. I'm new at this! I'm so pumped to write the next chapter. I'll try to write longer chapters. Hope you like it!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Chapter 3, here we are! Can I just say that I only started on this website a few days ago, and you guys have already favorited, followed and review my story and I can not express how thankful I am for that! It really means a lot to me and it helps me continue this story. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Shadowhunting world. I don't own the characters, I only own this fanfiction. It all belongs to the amazing writer, Cassandra Clare!**

A voice broke Tessa from her daze. "Tessa!" she heard Charlotte gasp, and run toward her, enveloping her in a hug. Henry, Sophie, Gideon and Bridget all rushed toward her, but Will was just standing to the side, frozen with shock. Even though it was taking all of her will power not to look at him, she could _feel _his eyes on her and James, and couldn't help but glance at him.

A jolt of worry went through her as she remembered the little boy beside her. How on earth was she supposed to explain things to Will? And worse yet, Jem. Oh Jem. But where was he?

As Tessa scanned the crowd, she saw no sight of him, and realised with a jolt of horror run through her that the yin fen must have killed him. They must have not found a cure in time. They all woke up one morning to find Jem cold and rigid in his bed, without a pulse. She felt selfish for not being there, and that she never got to marry him.

As she was scanning the crowd, though, she saw a girl who resembled Will ever so clearly, with her blue eyes like glass and her dark, long hair falling around her, and Gabriel Lightwood, both standing off somewhat awkwardly to the side. She remembered that Will had a sister called Cecily – but surely she wouldn't be here?

A sound of defeat from Mortmain's throat caused Tessa to look sharply at him. It all happened in a daze – he literally just disappeared, like that, the clockwork creatures going with him.

Charlotte finally broke away from Tessa, looking close to tears. "Oh, Tessa!" she heard Sophie say.

The Consul said, "Alright, Charlotte. This is your matter to deal with, and I expect you to give me news as soon as possible. The whole Enclave is dismissed." Charlotte nodded ever so slightly, and everybody, leave an exception for Gideon, Gabriel, the girl whom resembled Will, Charlotte, Henry, Will, Sophie, Jessamine Magnus and three Silent Brothers left.

"Tessa. Oh dear, Tessa. Where have you been?"

She shook her head, as her throat felt thick with emotion causing her unable to form words. Luckily, Magnus saved her from having to talk.

"I – we, appreciate your concern, Charlotte, but Tessa just arrived back here and witnessed a horrible sight. As did the boy. I think you should leave questions until later, and best get them cleaned up."

She felt obliged to glare at Magnus, for now she would have to stay at the London Institute and encounter all this mess all over again, but seemed to think better of it and just sighed.

Tessa was almost positive she saw Magnus's eyes flicker at the Silent Brothers, as if he was hiding something she did not know, but it happened in just a second and she was sure she had just imagined it. Charlotte nodded, and Sophie said, "I know I'm not a maid anymore, Charlotte, but I would still like to help."

_So, _Tessa thought. _My suspicions were correct. Sophie isn't a maid anymore._

"Alright then, Sophie. The rest of you can go… recover. Sophie and I will be with Tessa and," she gestured at James, "the boy. Don't ask questions. We will talk about it at dinner. Thank you for all the help you have given us, Brother Enoch, Brother Micah, and Brother _Zacariah_."

There was something about the way she said Zacariah that felt different. There was sympathy in her voice, along with longing.

They didn't ask questions. Nobody did. About the boy, James, that was. Instead Charlotte, Sophie, and the new maid just cleaned both of them up silently. Neither Tessa nor James spoke a word during that time.

Two hours later, Tessa was fresh in a pale green Victorian dress, and James in an evening dress. Sophie and Charlotte had left, and before the maid shut the door behind her, she noted that dinner was in five minutes and that she would meet them outside in case they needed privacy. Tessa was thankful for that, as they did.

They sat on the end of the bed she had slept in four years ago. The room looked exactly like it had then, all pale and white against the glow of the witchlight. James leaned his head on his mother's shoulder.

"It's been a long day, James, I know," said Tessa, with as much confidence as she could master to her son. "But we got through it."

Tessa couldn't help but think of Will when she looked at him, for he resembled Will, aside from his golden eyes.

James nodded. "But mommy… who are these people?"

"I'll explain everything later. But for now they are Shadowhunters – you know, the magical beings I told you about? I knew them very well before you were born, sweetie, and we'll be safe here. And now, we have to get to dinner."

She knew James had a right to know her troubled past, but they had to get to dinner. So she pulled James up, holding his hand in hers, and opened the door to the hallway.

And froze.

Will was casually leaning against the threshold directly in front of her when she saw him. Tessa suddenly felt self-conscious about herself, and she knew that it was stupid. He was all black and white in the pale witchlight, and yet again, he took her breath away.

Once Will heard the door shut behind Tessa, he looked up to see her. She was certain there was a flicker in his eyes, but instead he just smiled. Tessa didn't return the smile, though. Instead she just stood there, rigid and frozen, staring at the beautiful sight in front of her. James looked confused.

"Tessa," said Will, moving toward her.

"Will," she said. She could not deny how much she disliked addressing him formally, but she knew that it would be like that for now. "Why are you here? And…" she paused to look around the hallway, "The new maid – Emily, I think her name was. Well, she told me she would be here to escort me to dinner, and –"

"Yes, she did. But I told her I would escort you myself."

Oh how, she missed his voice so much. She missed him – all of him, every ounce of him she once had. And even if she couldn't kiss him, couldn't touch him, couldn't have him, she still wanted to see him.

Tessa turned toward James and whispered in his ear, "James, go back inside the room. I just need to… talk. Mommy will come get you in a minute."

James nodded with wide eyes and turned to go back into the room they were both settled in a minute before.

"But… we…" Tessa sighed. "I still have a lot of questions."

The corner of Will's mouth twitched. "I think we all do. Especially," he moved toward her, so now he was only a few centimetres away from her. She could feel the heat from his body, could smell the scent that screamed Will all over him, and it left her with this wanting desire. "Me," he finished.

Tessa bit her lip. Oh how, she just wanted to touch him. To feel him. To just kiss him, one last time. But all those things were things she could not want. They couldn't do such a thing just after Jem had died.

"What are you thinking about?" Will asked, curiously.

"You." She couldn't stop the words from rushing out, and when they did, she mentally cursed herself and started blushing beet red, turning her head toward the flower so that he couldn't see her face.

She sensed Will staring at her. "May I inquire as to who that boy is?"

At this, Tessa's head snapped up to look at his glassy, deep blue eyes, and it was all she could do not to get lost in them. Surely he would know. Surely he would realise that it was _his son. _

"That night," she whispered.

At this his eyes seemed to widen as he remembered the events of that particular evening. It was selfish, but Tessa did not regret it. Not one bit. And it was not just because she loved her son to death and would do anything for him, but because she loved Will too. And yet she could not tell him…

"He's my…" Will seemed lost for words.

She sighed and shook her head, taking a step back. "Yes, he is. Haven't you noticed?"

Will didn't reply. Instead he kept his emotions to himself, and just simply said, "We are going to be awfully late. We must go."

With that, she nodded, called for her son to come out, and the three of them walked out into the dining room.

**Yep okay, so that chapter is done. It's a bit longer, I hope. Anyways, I guess most of you have figured out by now about Jem. I'm not gonna spoil it for you, but I think that Brother Zacariah reference sold you.**

**Goodbye! Please review, because they really mean a lot to me guys.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4****

**Oh my god guys, I am so sorry! I haven't uploaded for like, months, and I'm so sorry! It's just that I've been occupied doing other things and I'm so, so sorry! I'm not going to make up an excuse like I'm busy, because I wasn't! I was just doing other things and had writer's block and kind of forget about this story for a bit, oops! You never realise how hard it is to write the chapters and update them quickly until you actually do it yourself. But I'm back, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

The room was just as Tessa remembered – the large, narrow dining table set with white cloth laced over it, as big as it had always been. It looked as if nothing had changed since the last time Tessa had been in this very room. _Well, _she thought. _Nothing really has. Except the fact that Jem is nowhere to be seen._

The three of them – Tessa, Will, and James, were the last ones to arrive. Platters of food were set in the middle of the table, and on the far end sat Charlotte, beside her, Henry. On the right side of the table, a couple of seats down sat Jessamine, looking crossly as always, and beside her, the girl Tessa had witnessed to resemble Will at the front of the Institute earlier. In front of them were the Lightwood brothers, Sophie next to Gideon. Tessa could sense that they were more than friends – there was something going on between them. And she was certain Sophie had ascended.

When they arrived, Tessa moved to sit a seat down from Jessamine, with both boys on either side of her. Charlotte looked up from her dinner and looked relieved, but confused at the same time. Actually, Tessa couldn't quite make out what she was feeling, or what _anyone _thought. It was like every emotion was mixed in with each other.

"Will." Charlotte acknowledged Will with a brief nod, averting her eyes to look at Tessa. "Tessa. And…" She looked at James with an unspoken question.

"James. James-"

Tessa stopped, wondering how on earth she would deliver this news. As it seemed, the only way was to say it herself.

"James Herondale," Tessa breathed, sucking in a breath, nervous as to what the others would think.

Will looked astonished, even though he had already been told the news. Maybe it was just because he hadn't actually heard her say it – it was only his conclusion. Sophie looked as if she wanted to cry, and ran over to Charlotte. Charlotte almost fainted – Henry had to hold her up, even though he was quite surprised himself. Gideon and Gabriel talked in hush whispers to each other, Cecily looked as if she'd be glad to be anywhere but here right now, and James looked uncomfortable, burying his face into his mother's side.

Jessamine screeched, "You had an affair with another man when you were engaged to another boy?"

Tessa looked down, biting her nails. She was embarrassed – she couldn't believe she had told them. And worst of all – she couldn't believe she had ever done anything with Will Herondale! She knew her face was flushed without even having to be told, and she was fending off tears.

It seemed like hours until everybody had stopped, even though Tessa knew it was only a few seconds. When she looked up, she realised Will had quickly covered up his emotions once again. _God, why does he always have to do that? It's mortifying, _she thought, but quickly swallowed the thought when he said, "It's that much of a dreadful thing to do, Jessamine? Dear me, am I wrong or haven't I seen you do that?"

Tessa glared at him, but at the same time was glad to be defended.

Charlotte seemed to have control her composure, because she scolded, "_Will!"_

There was no curse anymore, but Will had been hiding his emotions for five years before he had found out, so it was always an old habit to be rude. And Tessa leaving only made it worse.

Once everybody had calmed down, Charlotte looked at Tessa, but it was not a look that she had been expecting. She didn't look angry, or horrified. Instead she had a calm look – almost soft, but not that quite soft, because she was a Shadowhunter.

"Tessa. If you don't mind me asking, where have you been these past four years?"

Tessa swallowed. There was no way she was ever going to tell them what had happened between herself, Jem and Will, because that was her private business, and hers was alone. So she knew that she had to just lie, no matter the cost.

"I felt like… I just wanted to live an ordinary life. So I did a stupid thing and…" she swallowed. "I left. I ran away. To Magnus's new place, in New York City, that is. I discovered I was pregnant with James and… I tried to live a normal life. It just didn't work out."

She took a risk by briefly glancing at Will. He looked totally unfazed – though she knew Will better than anyone, besides Jem, perhaps. She knew that he knew that was not the case at all. Tessa had run away to protect both Will and Jem, and now here she was, in the place she never wanted to endure again. There was no way she was protecting them. And she never was.

"So has James had any Shadowhunter training?" asked Charlotte, and instead of Tessa answering for him, the little boy shook his head. James was almost always shy, so Tessa was surprised at this action.

"But…" Tessa began, hesitantly. "I think I would like to know what has happened while I was gone. And Jem…"

At the mention of Jem's name, everyone in the room seemed to look as if they were going to dread the news they were about to tell her. Even Will. But Tessa didn't need to see their expressions to know that Jem was gone. Jem was dead.

Charlotte shook her head. "Jem. He's… Jem's a Silent Brother, Tessa."

This time it was Tessa's turn to be shocked. Jem… a Silent Brother? She remembered once, after she had found out about his illness, she had asked him if there was any cure at all. And she had asked if he was able to become a Silent Brother, and he said no, as it would kill him.

So how did he do it?

"I remember once… he told me that he couldn't become a Silent Brother. That it would kill him."

"Yes. That is what he believed. But at the time, he believed it would kill him. But there was a night when he knew that it was his end, and he knew that whatever the cost, he had to _try. _Nobody knew – not even the Silent Brothers, if it would kill him or not. But it ended up not killing him. He is not an ordinary Silent Brother though. His eyes are sewed shut, rather than cut out. And there are still some runes that he cannot withstand," said Charlotte, biting her lip.

Tessa shook her head, not even noticing the small tear that slipped down her cheek. She hated to cry. Especially in front of people.

"Sophie ascended. The demon pox took over Benedict Lightwood, and he became a worm. He's dead now. That is why Gabriel is here. I am still, luckily, head of the Institute, and Mortmain has still placed countless attacks on the Enclave and this Institute. And Will's sister, Cecily, arrived."

Tessa looked at Cecily. She remembered the day after Will, Jem and herself had gone on the dusty, old train to Yorkshire to meet Aloysius Starkweather, and how they had seen Will's sister outside the house. That was when Will realised his family had been staying there under Mortmain's orders, and had started calling out his sister's name. Tessa now looked at Cecily, and faintly remembered her from that very day. It was amazing how one thing could bring back a thousand memories.

Tessa looked at Charlotte and sternly nodded her head, for she did not know what to say after that.

"So for now we do not know what Mortmain is planning or how to stop him," said Charlotte. "The Consul is still against my decision to protect Tessa, but luckily I still have a strong hold on the London Institute, before he decides to go any further –"

Tessa heard Will mutter under his breath something about the Consul being just as bad as a duck.

"Gideon and Sophie are married, as are Gabriel and Cecily, and my son Charles Fairchild is in Idris for a few days for the start of his Shadowhunter career."

Despite the situation, Tessa still couldn't resist her curiosity.

"_Fairchild? _But you're Charlotte Branwell now!"

"Yes, but I wish for my son to have my families last name, as he may be the last Fairchild for a while. Henry doesn't mind, don't you dear?"

"Oh, of course not!" said Henry. "Although, Charles's middle name is Matthew, not Buford."

Tessa's mouth twinkled with amusement, just before she realised that nearly everyone's plate was almost full. James had managed to eat most, though. She supposed it was because he was a young boy, and wasn't really taking thought to the situations being discussed at hand. He was more interested in a piece of chicken on a bone on his plate. Nobody really had the appetite to eat, including her, and she didn't blame them. It isn't every day you find a missing person come back for four years.

"Well then," Charlotte said, and clapped her hands. "It seems as if nobody is really going to eat anymore, and Tessa, you ought to get some rest. As the rest of us. It's been a busy day, once again."

As if on cue, the new maid, Emily, came in and took the plates and dishes to the kitchen. Jessamine got up and out of her chair as quick as a struck of lightning and said, "Finally." It seemed she hadn't lost her bad attitude after all these years.

"I am not a maid, nor head of the Institute anymore, Tessa, so do forgive me, but can I ask; will James be sleeping in his own room or with you tonight?" asked Sophie kindly, looking toward Tessa.

Before James could answer for himself, Tessa simply announced he would be staying with her for tonight.

"Very well then. We'll talk about this… situation tomorrow then. I expect you all to be at breakfast tomorrow. Goodnight." Charlotte lightly pushed her chair in and went down a hallway, Henry following after her, before giving them a wave. _He always was so awkward, _Tessa thought.

Gabriel and Gideon left awkwardly, without a word, as Sophie got up from her table. "I'll see you all tomorrow then," she said, and Tessa just smiled slightly at her and nodded.

"It was nice meeting you, Tessa," Cecily said, even though she had barely met Tessa at all. Will rolled his eyes when Cecily left.

Tessa and Will were now alone in the room together, with James as an exception. Tessa knew she couldn't keep avoiding things, but right now she didn't want to talk things out with Will – let alone be in the same room as him. Thank God for James, because she knew Will wouldn't talk about something in front of their son. Tessa got up as quickly as she could, guiding James with her, the younger boy looking slightly awkward.

"Leaving me all alone here, are you?" Will asked with amusement.

Tessa fighted the urge to sigh, and instead simply answered with "It's late, I'm tired, James is tired–"

"I'm not tired," perked in James.

Tessa mentally cursed him, while Will was looking at the two in amusement. "Do you know who exactly I am?" Will asked James.

Tessa took a deep breath and looked at Will accusingly. "Not now, Will!" she hissed.

"Why? He deserves to know."

"Yeah, mommy, I want to know!"

"James, this is not the –"

"Then when is the time?" Will protested. "James, you deserve to know. I am your father."

**This was like a crazy chapter explaining everything. But I hope you liked the mini cliffhanger. Or was it? Well, I wonder what James's reaction will be!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**It's officially 2014 for me, so Happy New Years! Also, if you ship Wessa go check out my series of one-shots based on Will and Tessa based off of songs on Taylor Swift's 1989 album. I've only got one so far since I just updated it not long ago.**

WILLS POV:

At first the little four year old boy looked momentarily confused, but then after a few seconds his eyes seemed to light up with understanding. He looked at Will with a mixture of shock and amazement on his face, and Will looked at him back with no expression readable on his face, although he was nervous. Another four years of practicing hiding his emotions after Tessa had left made it much easier.

He knew that Tessa wasn't happy with him for delivering this news so abruptly, and he sneaked a glance at Tessa. It wasn't the best idea, though. She was looking at him, fuming, obviously annoyed that he had chosen now to break the news. _Oh well, _he thought. _She can't hold a grudge against me forever._

"Daddy!" James exclaimed, and did the unexpected. He jumped into Will's arms with delight, causing Will to almost fall back. Will had never really hugged a small child, and so he put his arms around his son awkwardly. Tessa was watching them with a mixture of shock and amazement.

"Alright, um. I _really _think James should be getting to bed now, he –" She was cut off by Will.

"Why ever? You know what I think? I think that James should spend some quality time with his father." Will smirked at Tessa, knowing that he was getting right underneath her skin.

"I don't think that that's such a good idea –"

"But mommy!" James exclaimed. He had finally broke away from Will, and was now holding up his hands in exasperation. "He's my daddy!"

"Yes," agreed Will, looking up at Tessa. "In fact, I think that James should spend the night with me."

James nodded eagerly as Tessa scanned the two boys narrowly with her eyes, still furious. She finally realised that she had lost, and sighed. Without a word, she stalked out of the room.

Now it was just the two of them in this large, narrow room. Will thought it was far too big for just the both of them, but perhaps that's how life is itself. Life is this big, dark room, and you're the tiniest thing in it.

James looked at Will with curious eyes as his father stood up, and tried a smile down at the little boy. "I think Te – sorry, your mother, forgot to get you your nightclothes for bed, so we best to get it." He knew he sounded probably too complicated for the younger boy, but he didn't exactly know how to talk to little kids properly, even though this _was _his son.

"But she seems angry," said James, and Will tried hard not to smirk, which didn't work very well. Even his son had noticed.

"Let her be angry then," Will said, and the two of them began to walk down the corridor towards Tessa's room.

Will knocked quietly, and Tessa opened the door, just in her nightclothes. It was all Will could do to not let his eyes travel up and down her mostly exposed body. It was one of the hardest things he had resisted in his life. He didn't do it because of their son, he didn't do it because he honestly didn't know where their relationship was on the road.

Tessa raised her eyebrows upon seeing them. "Came to give me my beloved son back, have you Will?" Will chuckled.

"Actually, mommy, I just need my nightclothes."

Tessa glanced at her son, and went back into the room to grab his clothes. While she was preoccupied with that, Will took a couple of steps into the room. It was plain, like a lot of the rooms at the institute; a small closet, a plain bed, and a plain desk, all white making the room so, very pale.

"Nice place," he said, with a grin.

Tessa handed the clothes to her son and looked at Will with annoyance. "I never invited you into my room." She guided them out of the door.

Will shrugged. "But you left the door open." And with that, he spun on his heel and left, James Herondale behind him.

"Did Tessa ever tell you anything about me?" Will asked to James, not just out of curiosity, but also because he wanted to know what she had told him, if anything.

James shook his head. "I asked who my daddy was, but she never told me anything except that I may meet him someday." James looked at Will.

Will mentally sighed. Of course she hadn't mentioned anything. She hated him, after all.

But Tessa was never one that would open up to people easily, or do things with people willingly. So why they had had sex, he did not know. It was another mystery of Tessa.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

Will looked at James pointedly. His son really was curious, a trait from his mother.

"I don't know." _She never loved me. _He felt bad lying to his son, but he was far too young to understand.

"She doesn't seem to like you very much," James said. _Thank god he doesn't know how babies are made, because then there would be more questions, _Will thought.

"Yeah…" Will said quietly.

"Why have I never known you?" Dear God, this boy had a lot of questions. Perhaps more than his mother!

Will didn't exactly know how to answer this question. What would be a reasonable lie?

Instead, he just shrugged. "Come on. It's getting late. I think you should get some sleep." James nodded, and Will moved to give him some space on the bed. When James's head hit the pillow, he immediately fell asleep, most likely from exhaustion from the day.

But Will didn't drift off till the Angel knows when. He couldn't stop thinking about a particular girl. Or was she still a girl now? At last, when he finally drifted off, his mind still played her name, Tessa, over and over again, like a song on repeat.

The only reason Tessa had woken up that morning was not from the bright ray of sunlight shining through her bedroom's large window, but from the maid shaking her over and over again to wake up. The girl's response to that was a soft groan. Tessa sometimes wished she could stay asleep forever, never waking up, not having to face each day after another with her problems clogging up her brain like a smoky cloud covering the sun.

But she did. She had to, for her son. She'd been doing exactly that for the past four years. And now that she was here, back at the Institute, there was no escape.

She groggily opened her eyes, dreading the day, before she suddenly remembered that James was with Will. She shot up in bed, so fast that the maid jumped back slightly.

"Miss, are you quite alright?"

Rubbing her eyes, Tessa could now make out the silhouette of the new maid Emily at the side of her bed. Tessa shot her an apologetic smile, before answering herself. "Yes. I just…" Tessa looked around the room. "What time is it?"

"Why, it's nearly midday, Miss! Charlotte said that you should be allowed to sleep for a bit longer than usual as yesterday may have tired you a bit, but I think now is the time to get up."

Tessa sighed, before her thoughts flashed back to her son again. "And James?"

"Still with Master Will, miss. But we best get you up."

_Thank God he was with Will, _she thought, but suddenly was surprised at herself for thinking that. Will wasn't that safe…

Tessa got up, and the maid helped her get ready for the day, before she walked steadily down the corridor for lunch.

When she arrived, everyone was seated at the table for lunch already. Charlotte, of course, was at the head of the table, next to Henry. Seated almost at the other side was Will, with James on his left, an empty seat left next to James. Next to that empty seat sat Gideon, next to Sophie, who was across from Jessamine. One seat down from Charlotte and Henry sat Jessamine. Tessa noticed that everybody was eating more than yesterday. She sighed in relief.

James patted the seat next to him for his mother. Tessa couldn't help but smile slightly at the kind gesture, and even though it was much closer to Will than she would of liked, she still sat there for her son.

"Tessa! We thought you'd never wake!" exclaimed Charlotte.

Tessa noticed she seemed more cheerful than usual. Will, as always, could read Tessa's expression, and leant over to her. "She has been voted in as Consul, and she has said yes."

"Oh, Charlotte! That's wonderful!" Tessa said, looking over at Charlotte, smiling.

Charlotte smiled back at her and nodded. "I was going to decline, but Henry and dear Sophie made me think otherwise." Sophie smiled lightly.

"Also, her son is due to arrive back today," commented Jessamine.

Tessa's heart melted a bit. Maybe then James wouldn't be so lonely…

"Out of curiosity," began Will. "Does James have any… abilities?"

"Not that I know of, no. I did test him to see if he could Change, but none of the sort."

"He is half-Shadowhunter," pointed out Cecily. "But we still don't know what Tessa is."

Charlotte sighed. "Speaking of _that, _we still have no idea where Mortmain is or what he'll do next, now that he knows that Tessa is back."

From the corner of her eye, Tessa saw Will stiffen a bit. What did that mean? Was he still in love with her?

"Anyways," Will started. "Tessa and I have decided to go on a carriage ride today, so one of you needs to look after James."

Tessa looked confused. "What? I –" A single look from Will silenced her.

"I can," said Sophie, shyly. She was looking at Tessa and Will nervously, as if they would lose it and break out into a full quarrel any second.

"Alright then. We best be on our way," said Will. Before Tessa could protest, he took hold of her wrist and pulled her out with him into the cold, winter of London.

**I didn't leave you with a cliffhanger, because I'm nice. Well, it's not an actual cliffhanger, but who knows what Will and Tessa will say to each other in the carriage?**


End file.
